Hate to be disagreeable, Skysblue, but what are you going to GET OUT of therapy if you're always patrolling or monitoring your response to your therapist? Therapy is about being real and who you are. Sure, I get that this isn't always comfortable or desirable, but if that was the case, we'd all be in loving, ,mature, caring and carefree relationships. I don't know about you but reading here about people engaging in therapy (myself included) makes me realized that pretty much most of us have a real hard time having those loving, , mature, caring and carefree relationships.

Look, I'm not saying that we have to be uncooperative, tyrantical or obstructional when it comes to therapeutic relationships, but it can't mean that we can always be the "delightful" or cooperative client who does what we believe our therapist wants or expects. How is that healing or corrective? If I believe that the only way I can have a relationship with another human being means that I have to capitulate my beliefs and/or needs in the interaction/relationship, how is that helpful to me in learning to be an equal partner in an intimate, vulnerable relationship? I'm not saying that we need to run roughshod, over anyone, but we do need to let down our guard and let our therapist's see a bit of the "ugliness" inside of us. Otherwise, we don't heal or change . . . .we just continue the charade. My take on the issue anyway.