Hi jenkins09, sorry you are suffering this abuse. She sounds histrionic to me which holds much in common with an NPD, but only time will bear that out fully. Let me preface this by saying: No one should excuse her behavior. But it might help to begin to understand that, if she is PD, this is a part of who she is or has become as a person. She did not choose to be this way. It is a matter of survival to her to protect her fragile sense of self. But sadly, unlike an addiction (dependency) or compulsion, the PD person cannot admit they are at fault, have a problem or that they inflict abuse on others. Their disordered mind will simply not allow it, or only for fleeting moments during great emotional duress. And if she is "merely" an addict, there is a chance some form of hitting "rock bottom", ie. losing you, will be enough for her to accept professional help. I wish you the best in your struggle.