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It is a shame that you loved ones are not being supportive of you which is probably making it more hurtful because you went to all this trouble for them. But now that you know how "bad" off you are, I hope you can change your focus and get the help because you want to get better for yourself. You will find lots of support here at PC. Make sure to check out the chat rooms where you can talk live to other people when you need support right away. Welcome to PC.