palemoss,

Listen to you words. "When will I ever meet a good man with decent character?"

Would the man you're referring to happen to be the guy who was with another girl when you moved back to California, and you were disappointed and hurt that they hadn't already parted?

I sure hope not, palemoss. Because there have been warnings for months that he is not the right man for you. Believe me, I completely understand your loneliness and wish to have someone to hold you. It seems as though you are getting lots of signals that your heart really isn't ready for another relationship.

That means ~ you need to find other (healthier) ways to spend your extra time. Go to therapy. Pick up some new habits that are completely independent. Like: photography of nature, get a pet, exercise, artwork and/or listen or play music, etc.

Finding things that you are interested in isn't as easy as it may sound. Going back to looking for someone to fill the emptiness inside won't help. As you know, before much time passes that anxiety and same emotions are going to consume you again.

And that's why you need to find some completely independent interests. So you aren't putting off the inevitable in fear of losing the easier passage of time.

Gentle hugs to you, palemoss. I'm sorry that your date was so disappointing for you. You CAN do it ~ just keep trying!