No, I don't need reassurance on those items. My T has always been very caring and would never do anything to hurt me. He always has my best interests at heart. I know he cares about me very much. He is always kind and caring.

Maybe he hasn't been mad or angry with me, but my T has been irritated with me before, and once he was appalled. I did ask him about that and he owned it. I didn't really doubt that he was, so it wasn't that I was seeking reassurance that he wasn't, but confirmation that he was. I was direct about it. I think a direct question usually works well, and T's usually appreciate that.

Probably the closest I come to those things you ask about is that my T sometimes messes up on the times and days of our appointments. Or maybe it's I who mess up, or we somehow don't communicate well on our scheduling. It's a mystery why we mess up so much. So sometimes I get nervous when I am in his waiting room and wonder if we are really meeting that day or not. At my last session, a client arrived when T and I still had 30 minutes to go. He went to talk to them to see if they had the wrong time, and it wasn't even his next client, but one who was not due for another hour and a half, so he sent them away. These things just happen way too often and they make me feel insecure.

Tigergirl, maybe your T could write out the answers to your questions on a piece of paper and give it to you. Whenever you needed reassurance, you could look at the paper and read his words. Maybe that would be a kind of compromise you could reach with him. It sounds hard to never be allowed to ask for reassurance. My T sometimes says to me, "what do you need from me today?" I think it's nice he asks. I feel sure that if I needed reassurance that day, he would allow me to ask and give it. Did your T used to allow you to ask but got tired of it and won't let you anymore?