
Aug 09, 2011, 07:25 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 496
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paraclete
I often have trouble talking in session. For me it's not a problem, sometimes there just are no words to describe the myriad of emotions inside, I've tried to explain it to T this way; When you walk into a room full of people - a restaurant or a bar or something, and they are all talking over each other at volume, you can hear voices and noise but try to make out any one conversation and follow it, you simply cannot. In the same way, sometimes there are so many feelings going on inside that it's hard to pinpoint what exactly is in there at any given time. Often its many, but as to why you're feeling them, who knows! Its just a jumbled mess, and I find in these moments, I just sit and 'feel', because there are no direct words to describe the jumbled up ball of feeling mess inside. I've tried to explain to my T that my silence isn't a bad thing, sometimes I just like to sit in silence and safely give myself space to just 'feel'. But it frustrates the heck out of him, and he doesn't like it. He taps his feet and eventually, he feels the need to fill the silence with his own words.
I like the idea or writing at the beginning of session - even drawing a picture if there are no words to write 
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When I first started with my T I could not write - words were meaningless to me. So I started drawing instead. After I while I could only write my feelings in poems that rhymed. It took months before I actually was able to share my feelings and now you cant' shut me up! Hang in there - you're doing the best you can and T should understand that.
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As I lay down in bed each night I look up at the stars and wonder "where the heck is my ceiling?"
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