I guess the reason I am posting is to try and get some insight into my wife's behaviours.
I'll try to make this as short as possible, so I will breifly explain some of her behaviours that I jsut don't understand how to deal with.

When we married (11yrs ago) she definately had a selfish side, and could get angry and unreasonable rather quickly. But 11 years later, this is how she is now:

Married 11 yrs ago, 3 kids (5/9/12)
First 5 yrs of marriage in her opinion was boring, she felt distant from me as I didnt do much with her etc...
about 5 years ago i changed alot of thigns around, but got to a point where there were a few things like gambling that were essentially eating away at any motivation to work on the marriage.
Diagnosed Bipolar and OCD about 4 yrs ago.
Gambling addiction going on 5 years
When not gambling, she replaces that behaviour with shopping or drinking.
She always needs to be busy
she has become obsessed with attention from others, including men
she talks about others to make herself look better, including me her husband
she admist she is immature and does not want to change (says she can't change, as it is who she is)
she says teh same about being stubborn, mean and no empathy.
She has gone from "super-mom" to not wanting to have anything to do with the kids. They more or less just anger her
she lies constantly to hid ebehaviours such as meeting with other guys, gambling, spending and then blmaes the lie on me. she says she wouldnt have to lie if I didnt have such a problem with the behaviour??
she can go from flaming mad to depressive crying, to "why are you with me if I am so crazy" in about 5 minutes.

she absolutely HATES anything I do or say that requies change from her. she says she will never be "controlled" or told what to do.

she makes excuses to make herself feel betetr and seems to actually beleive them herself.

she validates her behaviour by saying that it has been this way always and it has always gotten her what she wants (she smiles when she says this)

When I say she can't have her cake and eat it too, she asks "why not?"

her father and mother divorced when she was 8
her father express's love with money, and my wife fully and completely abuses it.

she outright willl admit that if anyone wrongs her she will completly remove that person from her life (says this is who she is again)

extremely self concious
wants a billion friends
brags about having so many friends
has no idea that her friends are looking at her in dis-beleif when she complains about her husband having a problem with her texting her boss and lying about it

and lastly, has absolutly no intention of ever getting help, or atleast as long as I am the one suggesting it.

so, bipolar or bpd or both?
and do I have a hope in he(( that she will ever decide to get better?