Ok, I'll try and share the good stuff my T shares with me on this...but maybe I won't say it as well

...Would it matter (should it?) if you "knew" it was one or the other that "causes" this? What difference would that make? It is what it is. Would you be able to change the result by determining this? I doubt it, as that would imply that you are causing it, therefore you can stop causing it. Which we know isn't true.

It IS difficult to accept limitations, especially if you have been very active. I haven't accepted my disability yet... go figure. I'm sure that came through by my exclaiming my limited functionality per day

"Should be" is a terrible place to be. Life isn't "fair" it isn't fully understandable, it isn't ever long enough to get it all done or get it all "right." But I know what you mean.

The sooner you can work through these feelings (mostly) the sooner you can use that energy on good things you want to "do." IDK that anyone can skip over these feelings of loss and not waste any energy on them... but if I can help you shorten that time, I will.