Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
I'm trying to wrap my head around something. . .and it's associated with the whole business of needing more from my t than she can give me.
On the one hand, she has encouraged me to open up that hurting needy child side of me and express what she needs. . .
But on the other hand, when I've done that, what she needs is too excessive and I'm told that those needs "are fitting for an infant, but not for an adult. You are an adult, and need to be treated like an adult."
So here is where i am stuck and not "getting it." Why would she want me to open up and share those vulnerable needs with her, if she is just going to come back and tell me that those are "child" needs that aren't appropriate for an adult? I mean, it's hard enough to admit what i need. But to be made to feel that what i need is inappropriate, and that i shouldn't need that or be the way i am, it just makes me feel awful and regretful that i ever shared my needs.
I don't know what my t wants from me. If she wants me to be an adult, with adult needs, and be treated as an adult, then OK, i can do that. But then don't go asking how child parts of me feel or what they need from her.
Am i making sense? Does anyone relate?
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Peaches
I am sorry that you are struggling with this and I can appreciate what you are going through myself. I think that you hit it on the nail when you talked about balance. However, really t's, we are in therapy for a reason. Most of us don't know how handle these child needs and intense feelings let alone know how to balance them. I think that you are incredibly brave to even be reflecting on this and open with your t. I hope that she can find a way to help you through this with out shaming you. That to me is the worst. Being exposed and vulnerable and then to be shamed. Maybe you could tell her that is how you are feeling. I think t's really cringe if they think they may be adding to clients shame. Good luck with this. I sincerely hope you can find comfort soon.