I think you have to ask your T again until you understand what she means.
Quote:
On the one hand, she has encouraged me to open up that hurting needy child side of me and express what she needs. . .
But on the other hand, when I've done that, what she needs is too excessive and I'm told that those needs "are fitting for an infant, but not for an adult. You are an adult, and need to be treated like an adult."
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Are you sure your T said the above? If she did, maybe you interpreted it wrong. It seems to me that yes, you can bring your infant needs into therapy, and yes, those needs are "fitting for an infant." Has your T worked with you on how to satifsy those needs? Since she does IFS, I think she means that you can treat the infant part one way, but you have to treat the adult another way. Your Self is an adult, and needs to be treated as an adult. So, you and T can meet the infant's needs but know that
YOU are an adult and need to be treated that way. Am I making sense at all? Like when my T asks me, about an infant or child part: "Does she know
I'm there?" I am the adult, and the infant is the part
I am trying to soothe.