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Originally Posted by farmergirl
I have never needed that kind of reassurance from my t's. I've always been able to trust their dedication to helping me, their deep ability to be understanding and patient, and their care and devotion to my well-being.
There is a point when you do have to trust the process. Take that leap of faith. Sounds like that is what your t is trying to get you to do. After all, apparently no matter how many times he tries to reassure you, you still don't really believe him. Rather than asking for that reassurance, write down all the positives about your t. Write down what he has done for you. The proof is there. It is time to be able to reassure yourself by looking at the facts and the evidence. Use the evidence to counter your fears.
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Reading your thread about your T fighting for you, I can see part of why you don't need reassurance; you already have it and know that you are being helped and cared for which is wonderful to have
I know that part of my problem is I see the negatives and the doubts and have trouble holding on to the positives and things that would give reassurance (without needing to ask). Thanks heaps for the suggestions to write things down; and yes what you said is what he wants me to do
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Originally Posted by crazycanbegood
YES! I always need T to reassure me constantly, oftentimes within the same session., but possibly every session. I usually ask directly, "Do you still care about me? like me? love me? are you angry with me? Why do you like me? Do you think I am a good person? Why am I a good person? Do you think I can be happy?" etc. Sometimes i say, "please say nice things to me." She says she doesn't mind giving me her reassurance because she understands that I need it. She also says that repetition is a LARGE part of her work as a therapist.
Oh, and T answers me directly. Yes or No. She may give me examples from the past or the present session.
How come you can't ask for reassurance?
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That's great she is meeting you with what you need and giving that reassurance. What farmergirl said in her post really captures why; because he wants me to know without needing to be told anymore.
Sunrise that's wonderful you know your T is caring and won't hurt you
I'm glad you know that and that you are also able to bring things up like T being irritated and that he owned them instead of dodging the question and you could carry on still knowing he cares. Feeling insecure about the time mixups seems totally understandable to me; I hope those stop happening
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Did your T used to allow you to ask but got tired of it and won't let you anymore?
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More a case of he wants me to rely on the evidence and not need to ask questions or think things that don't make logical sense and don't follow on from supporting evidence
crazycanbegood
that's great your T is so nurturing
and I'm glad you shared the things you did; nothing pathetic about that