i've been a SI for 8 years and it's a never ending addiction i have. whenever i get depressed or emotions are high i wanna cut just to relieve the pain inside of me. i have had a rough childhood, i've seen my brother get beaten numerous times, i've attempted to run away at age 9 with my brother, i can't trust anybody thanx to my parents, and i just feel like nobody understands me at all in my family. if they just knew the pain inside of me they would try to help me, but they don't believe what i tell them. i'm just gonna b an ugly fat 20 year old. at this moment i feel as if nobody cares about me and i wanna cry right now.