As an avid outdoorsman and hunter, I am constantly surrounded by all kinds of weapons. We probably have nearly 20 firearms and countless knives where I currently live. Although I have never attempted any harmful acts, their is always that voice in the back of my head, especially when I am alone in my treestand or walking through the woods, that reminds me how easy it would be to end it all with the simple movement of a fingertip. I have no intentions or desire to ever use a gun or knife on myself, but that little reminder never seems to leave me alone. The only time that I can remeber it wasn't there is when I was hospitalized and they had me on 2250mg of Depakote (way too high for me). Any suggestions on how to supress this??