Thanks Rose76 and everyone. I agree I have to choose the best of the 2 options for now. When this all 1st happened I was seriously considering moving to a woman's shelter - I was that upset. Then I started to think what this would do to my kids, plus that would have made him very mad and this would have jeopardized peaceful visitation with the kids. My main goal is I don't want to alienate the kids because I grew up without a father - mine died when I was 2. So my main focus is keeping the kids in the same school and neighborhood so they can feel stable. Like you said Rose - we're not in danger at all. There's probably less bickering than normal couples considering we don't talk much.

I know it would be best if kids see their parents happy, but unfortunately that's not happening but my girls do see I'm happy with them. I've always thought about them first.. if I left I might be happy being away form him, but my kids would have a hard adjustment. You're right this is a living arrangement based on convenience.