I do not think he loves you, despite what you want to see in his eyes. Love does not abuse. Can you go back to your home country now that you have been away from your husband? Can you get a divorce from your husband in your home country and "start over"? It does not sound like KSA is the place for you, for both its conservative nature and this man who is just using and disrespecting you. If you get caught, bad things will happen to you but not to him; don't put yourself in that position!