Sometimes you have to do something rather than wait. I have waited too long, kept myself safe and comfy, but forgot how to go where my heart wanted me to go.

As to your education and your work, something happened to education while I wasn't watching. If you are one of those people who studied mathematics because it is fascinating, or philosophy, or history, or something equally impractical, congratulations, you are one of the few who got education, not a mere job-prep. You may think you gimped yourself, but there is many MBAs serving breakfast at Denny's, so don't be too hard on yourself. Hope you did not get youself too deep in debt.

An interesting person once said that ART is the only activity that is a fit busy-ness of a human being. I thought: how ridiculous! Who then will grow our food, build our houses, make our clothes, drive our deliveries? Maybe in some future world we can all sit on our duffs painting or sculpting, or playing weird music while machines do all the work we used to do, but not today. Well... I don't think that's what he meant. I think he meant we must not do slave labor. It doesn't mean do not labor, but make whatever you do your art, make it like a human might do, not that future automaton, don't be an automaton.

Not sure it helps, dear. I am sleepy too. Don't wait forever.