There was as study done on effects of gender segregation. The findings were that rather than turn the relations more civil it made them more violent, obsessive, possessive, just what you have experienced. The study was done in Ireland, but I can't find a link for you. When sex is this completely forbidden fruit it becomes obsessiely desired, and its object, women, are both hungered after and hated, even though the boys are taught to greatly respect women, i.e. "good women", like their mothers.

It's impossible to know what's in someone else's head, but perhaps your bf, like those Irish boys, was taught since he was too little to understand or question that women who have sex with someone not their husband are harlots. That could explain his conviction that you are having sex with others, because that's what harlots do, all the time and with everyone (or so the story goes). I would further guess that his question if you have respected yourself has something to do with a belief that a woman who respects herself would never have extramarital sex.

But even if I am completely wrong with my guesses here, the fact that counts is that what he was doing to you is unacceptable. And there is nothing you can do to change his behavior, because it was not what you were doing, but what he was feeling that was at the root of this. You cannot appease such jealousy. Even if he locked you up and made sure you can't even see another man ever again, his jealousy could still whisper to him that you are "wanting" to have sex with others, no matter how much you assured him you do not.

As to your attraction to him, and wanting to be with him despite the abuse, it's not that strange. During sex, especially good sex women produce so called "bonding" hormone, oxytocin. It makes us feel deeply connected. The other activity that stimulates oxytocin release is breastfeeding and it builds that incredibly strong connection between mom and baby.

You would have to be strong now, and don't give into temptation to get back together with him. You need to allow yourself time for these feelings to fade. Cry, miss him, but don't get back together with him. No man should treat a woman like he treated you.

I am so glad you broke up with him, and please make sure you are safe.