Quote:
Originally Posted by Prettylittleblue
I don't understand what she means either. Her message and actions seem very confusing and conflicting. I think you need to ask her and be clear what she wants from you before going down that road of opening up the hurt child. I agree if there's a hurt child, it needs addressed but with someone confident to handle it.
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Prettylittleblue,
Yes, i agree. I keep trying to talk to my t about this but she's not getting it. She keeps insisting that my needs are not "too much" for her -- that i am projecting my own feelings/shame of being to much onto her. But she's the one who -- when she was too busy to reply to some of my emails and i got angry and hurt because i felt rejected -- she said that i seem to want her to be there for me 24/7, and went on to tell me how infants need this, but not adults, and I am an adult and need to be treated as an adult.
Now to me, those words mean "What you want is "too much." That is what a baby needs, not an adult, and you are an adult." Which then fills me with shame for being the way i am because what it sounds like she is telling me is that i should not be that way, or need the things i do from her. It also makes me angry because my t is the one who has coaxed the child part of me out and asked her to ask for what she needs.
But every time i try to talk to my t about this, she says that she doesn't remember telling me that my needs are wrong or that what i want is too much for her -- that those are MY thoughts and feelings.
We are going around in circles about it. I'm so confused. Am i supposed to elicit the child's needs, but not ask for them to be met? Should i encourage adult needs but suppress child needs? I can't always tell which is which or what needs are OK or not OK.