Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I think you have to ask your T again until you understand what she means.
Are you sure your T said the above? If she did, maybe you interpreted it wrong. It seems to me that yes, you can bring your infant needs into therapy, and yes, those needs are "fitting for an infant." Has your T worked with you on how to satifsy those needs? Since she does IFS, I think she means that you can treat the infant part one way, but you have to treat the adult another way. Your Self is an adult, and needs to be treated as an adult. So, you and T can meet the infant's needs but know that YOU are an adult and need to be treated that way. Am I making sense at all? Like when my T asks me, about an infant or child part: "Does she know I'm there?" I am the adult, and the infant is the part I am trying to soothe.
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Hi Rainbow,
My t did not the use words "Your needs are too much for me." It is more indirect things. . .such as on those rare times when i have just felt really close with her, my very next email will be the one she is "too busy" for. Or her comparing my needs to an infant, and telling me adults don't need that level of attentiveness. . .which makes me feel what i need is wrong and inappropriate.
I feel confused by the part of your message where you talk about treating the infant one way, and the adult another way. It's not always clear to me when I have a need whether it is a child's need or an adult's need. I'm not even sure that i always know when i'm in that child state versus my adult state. I just know what it feels like to have a need -- and how bad it feels if it can't be met -- and how shamed i feel if i hear (or think i hear) that what i need is infantile or wrong. Maybe that's what i should talk to my t about. . .how to tell if a need is an adult need or a child need. And what to do about it.