obj,
You are right.The reason why i feel my son will become a crybaby is 'cause as you know watching my mum cry all the time made me unable to cope with my emotions.

Since you are aware that this issue bothers you, already you are a step ahead of where you once were. I think this could be a good opportunity to work through something with your son, be a bonding experience. You can in your own pace, find natural coping stratedgies for yourself that your son may pick up too; I don't think any of this would happen over night-we can't just stop something we've been doing our whole lives. I believe talking releases burdens though-so I'm thinkin exploring alla the feelings you have around crying will help.

So now when I'm overwhelmed i just do what i grew up watching.....cry.

What was it like for you to watch your mom cry? Did you grow up with a father? what did he feel about it? I feel there could be a lot of clues there, in your childhood, that could help resolve this issue for you;

Its easy to put blame on the parent for every unfortunate behavior one has ...

That's stressful fer realz. I'm thinking you're doing your best. Personally I'm scared of having the responsibility! (My intent here is not to make you feel guilty-you sound really hard on yourself as it is! I'm thinkin through that if you are able to get in touch with how you felt back then seeing it, it might help you be able to communicate what you're going through when it happens. Alo, how did your mom react when you cried as a kid?)

You were affected by your mom-it doesn't mean you are simply blaming her-did you not go through emotions when she cried? You have a right to express those things you felt. In the same way, if you allow your son to explore what he feels around the subject, the goal would not be to blame you, but for his expression and feelings to be talked about it a safe enviroment. I'm not sure how old your son is...so maybe if he's real young communication on the deeper levels may have to wait...but it's always good to ask how anybody is doing if you feel you are affecting them...it helps them feel your care.

I'm wondering if you were ever allowed to talk about how you're mom crying made you feel, and how that went;

now obviously i feel as if i am passing the same trait to my son.Imagine him having a meltdown during a boardroom meeting at 35 .

This is a lot of stress for you imagining that right here; it mut truly be a diificult thing to experience!

You ask what i feel after the breakdown....just guilt and embarrassment....failure as a mother.