When a guy is nice to me, I automatically feel like I want to just jump his bones, IF he's attractive to me. Like, if they pay me a compliment, or just ask me how I'm doing that day or anything, I just want to crawl all over them.

I've never had any normal, functioning relationship with any man, from my father on down the line (I did with my brother and grandfather, but of course they both died years ago). I also never had a close, loving relationship with any other family or friends. Sex, is the only closeness I really experience with anyone.

Like yesterday, one of the financial agents at my job is a lesbian. She's older than me (I tend to get along better with people older than me, my peers annoy me)...I was trying to find something to hold the door open and I said forget it, I'll just put in the code to get back in. When I came back, she had held the door for me and said "only for the pretty girls will I do this." That one comment elated me. Like, I was ready to go freakin' home with her. There's a few different agents around here that have made some sort of cute comment, or touched me innocently (but I'm not used to close contact with people, so I took it as a sexual advance), or other things like that.

I know it's all in my head, so I just go along with the conversation, but in my head I'm all "aww I wanna hug him so bad" or "I'd like to get him home with me" or something like that.

They say BPDs are often promiscuous, but for me it was always for the closeness. That's the only way I could get the affection I needed at the times I needed it, through sex.

Anyone else experience this?