My T is always keen for us to keep the session at the same day / time and T says it can be unsettling to vary this - so it is strange that your T seems happy to leave it this open - I can imagine how that may increase your anxiety - does your T know how you feel about this?

Yes I too always have my running away shoes on - in many ways I wish I had got this sorted years ago, so despite my wanting to escape it, I am trying really hard to stick with it - I do believe it can work and help us find a better way of being - also I am reading a book at the moment that suggests for many people their problems lie in interpersonal relationships, so to solve that we need someone else, otherwise it would be like learning to drive a car without a car - we may understand the theory but not know how to put it into practice. I get that little girl bit too - me and mine are not getting along right now.

If your T can't get you a regular slot, is it possible for you to explore getting another T who can?