You don't have to stop work if you see your T, they can suggest it but you still can chose to keep on working, I totally get the spiralling down without work to keep you going. Hope that you can take the steps you need to get some help - I know its hard but it is worth it. Try not to worry about all possible outcomes now, only worry about what is is front of you.
Lots of and
You are in my prayers my friend.