Your story sounds kind of similar to mine. Married too young, feeling stifled and held back, went back to school against husband's wishes, my every attempt at independence is met with criticism by hubby and other family members.

I left my family for about a month a couple of years ago (house sitting for a friend) and my husband has been treating me with more respect since then. Still not such a great relationship and I think I would leave if I had the resources, but the power differential is not as great as it had been. He now knows he can't expect me to always put his needs before mine. He is starting to slide back into his old habits, but I am dealing with that by adjusting my work hours so I don't see him that much. I guess that's avoidance, but it seems to be helping.

I think your husband is being emotionally abusive by interfering with your therapy and invalidating your needs. He has become accustomed to being number one and doesn't want to give it p. Who would? You have as much right to grow and develop as he has. You need to live your own life and you don't need to justify it. I think you should continue to fight for your indepenence any way you can.