Wanting you to know I am supporting you and think you have tons of courage.
If it helps: I entered a group for survivors way back in 1996 and when the group ended, asked the group therapist to be my individual T. My first comment in the group was, "I don't think I really belong here..." Now, some 10yrs. later, and I am so glad I stayed with my T and continued to work on my issues. It does take a long time but the benefits will last you a lifetime. Keep up the great work!!!!!