I think I really understand your feelings. Years ago, when my T said to me, "Well, you know that I love you", I was shocked and pleased. I guess I never thought that Ts could say those words, but I know that I love hearing them. It is hard when you want your T to say those words but she tells you she can't. I suppose she is setting a boundary, but it doesn't make it any easier. As far as getting to the bottom of trying to figure out why you want those words said to you, I think it is completely normal and healthy to want to know that people love you, especially your T. It says that you matter, that you are important, that you are loved as a human being.
I like all of the ideas of writing things out. If I were your T, I would say those words to you!