hi disguise123 thanks for your time..

yeah, honestly most people thinks that this is best thing, even us, we both agreed for this is what it should be. we struggle the relationship for almost 2 years and it's not working here in this conservative country. Maybe, if I met him in a free country, he wouldn't be that jealous and paranoid to most guys. I see it that way and he himself tells me that too. I'll be going home soon and honestly we planned to go home for vacation to spend time together and see the difference of being here and in a place where we can express our emotions freely. But it seems it won't happen anymore.. It's really sad and I'm really depressed. Sometimes, my tears will just fell down even if i don't want to or no matter I tried not to cry, it just keep on falling down.

whenever we fight, he's the one always coming back and there was only a few instance that I begged him to stay or I initiated being together again. He was only mean to me whenever he is jealous and paranoid that I'm seeing other guys.

thanks for listening and the advice.. I really need it..