Good for you for confronting her, MUE I *know* how hard it is.

T told me once that as I changed in therapy, my relationships would change...and he was so right. Before, I honestly couldn't recognize if I wasn't being treated well...but I've slowly started to be able to recognize it, and respond to it.

I had a "friend" who was very much like the one you're describing. She was usually nice to me, but was very angry and judgmental about other people. As strange as it may sound, this person was my best friend. I taught science to her boys once a week (and kept them at my house all day while she worked), drove her boys all over town, helped her clean out her cluttered house many times...but it was all so one-sided. H kept pointing that out to me, but I couldn't *see* it.

I stood up for something I believed in around Christmas, and since then, she has completely dumped me, basically without a word, and has worked to turn other people against me. I go back and forth between acceptance and hurt feelings...although, really, I don't think she is the sort of "friend" I want in my life anymore.

I've started focusing on, and spending my time with, other friends. They are friends who have always been on the "outskirts" of my circle of friends...we've always been friends, but not close. Maybe because they are so kind, and there is no drama with them. I don't feel like I need to "set boundaries" at all, because the relationships are just normal and healthy. I've realized that THAT is the sort of person I want in my life now.

I really, really think that there is a painful period of transition when we realize that we don't want to be treated badly anymore, and we start standing up for ourselves. I know for me, the backlash was painful, but I really believe that in the end, the result will be worth it.

You deserve peace and kindness, MUE. I'm glad that you are maybe starting to see a glimmer of that truth, and working to make it happen for yourself.