you are all improtant to Caroline. Just in a different way now. She may not be wanting to stop you from being the names you all are. She may only want to not be upset all the time in order for you all to do things. Maybe she wants everything to work together while she is aware instead of when she is triggered and upset.

I am aware at the same time that some of the "Mary" memory pieces are replaying. The things that are the "Mary" memories are always going to be there. The difference is I don't have to be upset for the things that were in the "mary" memories to get done and ALOT more can get done - like I can now clean the house. No matter what is going on if I see the house is a mess I can think ok how did "mary" do this and how to do it is right there, Thats still the "mary" memories. Shes still there and helping me just not like "she" was before. Now its just like a team of not just "mary" doing something and "me" doing something different because I am triggered and upset. Now Its me and mary like a team. I think of what I want to do and the mary memories are right there just like remembering how to count and add numbers, AND I don't have to be upset and panicy about the house being a mess before me AND the Mary memories clean the house. Because I don't have to be upset to clean the house now this leaves more time for the fun things like drawing. Instead of only "being out" for short times together with me "mary" is now ALWAYS out, not as a voice that I hear or a drawing that I suddenly "wake up" to or my suddenly being aware and the furnature has been rearranged while I had been off floating. But those memories are ALWAYS there any time day or night, just by thinking about the mary memories.

My memory pieces are always going to be there just in a different and MORE important way -- to help me while I am aware.

Its easy to just flaot off and let "someone" else take care of things but it is more important to be a team. kind of like a sports game baseball - the team will lose every time by themselves because everyone is bumping into each other not catching the balls but working as a team everyone knows what needs to be done and how to do it and can be up at bat more instead of missing those balls.