This guy sounds like a classic narcissist. They're hard to live with, and incredibly damaging for children to be around. An emotionally unavailable parent is essentially a non-parent. My father was like this...it is so hard. There are good books about NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). People with the problem will rarely be open to considering the possibility they have an issue - massive denial is one of the hallmarks of the disorder. But finding out more about it might help you deal with your husband.

I wish you luck.