My life has been pretty up and down, I've been from overdose, to psychward, to college. Right now my life was going good. I have an amazing job that I have to leave so that I can go back to school which is three hours away. I've grown very attatched to that place and mostly a girl who is BPD like me, shes the first i actually meet in person.

I'm moving with my roomate who I'm madly in love with its been a little more than a year now. She has a boyfriend, who is also my bestfriend. I've never told her and probably never will.

So all this has been scaring the **** out of me and I've fallen into my old patterns. Self-mutilation, my bad drug habit and my negative thoughts.

I want to get out of this one Alive and im looking for advice. I'm hoping some of you will take the time to read this. I'm desperate for help