So I had an appointment with my pdoc today and she about put me in the hospital today. I have been feeling really suicidal and haven't been sleeping well at all. I get about 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night and then I have no motivation the next day. So she put me on Mirtazapine (which I have never heard of) tonight in the hopes of helping me sleep. If I dont sleep any better tonight Im suppose to go to the hospital tomorrow.

Im really scared of the thought of having to go to the hospital. I have been there once before after a suicide attempt but I am completely terrified of the prospect of having to go again. I dont know if Im scared of going or scared of being stopped from doing what I want to do. I need some support, thanks.