THANKS!!!@Jenkins09@shezbut@leed thats exactly how i feel to want to completely cut him off. i was easy for the few weeks that he stopped contact. and i have written (very few) mails to him firmly asking him to mention an early date in language that actually made me feel good :-)and powerful about myself. thats the easy part ignoring him and asking him to cut the cr## . but i had spoken to my lawyer who is a friend since my childhood ,who said that i need to keep him attentive and favourable just till he agrees to come and sign the papers then i would be free to ignore him/calls and mails. the lawyer says that since he has a history of disappering out of the scene( he goes on sudden getaways for any duration without informing anyone, when stressed) he might disappear if he is not pacified. i resisted the idea a lot but he seems fixed trying to make me pretend to maintain a mature stand with him.
this weekend however i intend to give him the final deadline after which my mother can take over ...
and leed- i throw out the 'garbage' as soon as i get them!
he can only dream of snaring me back because the truth is i had quit being a part of him for a few months before i left and he knoew something was up but could not figure it out and watched me come back to life with a purpose and confidence, he only could prod me but never saw me buckle. but like a good friend said- somethings are just meant to be so u have to learn to let go and thats just what i did. when i was ready and collected i freed myself completely.i will have no more of that disrespectful life never.
its not like we were in any relationship before we got married, it was an arranged marriage as is common in india. we hardly had a 2 month period before the wedding. and since he was in another city, he did some pretty good acting by not revealing his N side. he was the sweetest and most congenial of most men i had seen. i understood his tendencies on the night of the wedding itself, i was scared and numbed out but i was young and optimistic and also succumbed to family and social pressures to keep it together and hid the entire drama unfolding in my life from my family and friends even shunning them to avoid dragging them into the 'mess' and hurting them. i know that was my mistake thinking i could handle it all by myself but my faith in god and my beliefs kept me strong and able to keep my stand inspite of much repercussions.
i will keep in mind about the codependency concept. surely i want no person with any PD in my life ever...for sure!!
thanks for your support..love u all ....prayers and thoughts with you in your moments of difficulty! will keep all of you posted how things go.