((((((((((Ryask)))))))))))))))

Yes, I also think you sound as though you are going from a mixed to depressed state. And unmedicated, without any therapy... I think it's time to pay the doctor a visit Pls? You can't go on this way and without medical attention it could spiral even more out of control. I know you are worried about your job and financies..i was the same but when it comes down to it you health is more important...above all that other stuff. What happens if you get worse and have to take time off work anyway? Pls see a doctor

Stay safe and pls keep us updated