Wow langaan you really have your hands full. I see your wife is good at projecting her personality disorder onto you. I was learning about narcissism and as I was reading the traits, I discovered that the phrase "it's not about me" has released me from all that projection, the blaming, the mood swings to cover up her "traits" there. I use this phrase daily... I'm a narcissist magnet...that just means I'm really nice. That's all it takes to attract these people. They seek us because we are willing to turn ourselves into a prezel to please them or keep them (unknown to us, this doesn't work).

No, these people don't get help (if they do, it's rare). Even if they did get help, there is no treatment and no cure for narcissism other than walking away.

It really sounds like you have dug in there for the long haul.

Many a person have sought therapy themselves in order to improve their lives because living with their "loved one" is an emotional prison.

But a good place to start is with the phrase "it's not about me".

I don't think she can get better, but you can. It's your choice. This is a great place to get support.

You can PM me as well... my mom is a narcissist and we often end up marrying one as well... if you ever want to ask yourself if there is a silver lining in all of this, it's that we learn, educate ourselves about our partner's so we can put a stop to it... especially if kids are involved. Were there are narcissists, there is emotional abuse as well.

Keep posting. It's time for your to make some supportive friends.