I wanted to add that perhaps one of your problems is that even though you have been successful it may have not filled that unknown void. And because of that you never truely appreciated it or it just was not significant enough for you.

The other thing you may feel is that once you create some kind of business that may be successful, you fear it will own you in some way so you let it fall apart or you don't really take pleasure in it. Or it may also draw in some people who, as you say, twist and turn it into something that ends up not being pleasurable.

Can it be easy to lose faith in humanity? Oh yes, it can, especailly if you are a good person and expect others to have your values. There are many people in our world, as always have been, that are just takers and it does hurt. And we actually have many fairy tales for children that do discuss this.

And as I discussed if it looks like you have a manual, you will be approached and even mislead or used or misguided for what you may seem to know or have. But there are nice people in the world as well, and they are not ususally the ones that approach you, they are often more reserved or trapped by another keeper. And the truth is we all are somewhat alone.

And if you are looking for perfection in others, you will never find it. Every single person has flaws and no one is ever truely going to understand you as you do.
So in that we all are somewhat alone.

Think about people who are famous. Ronald Regan didn't really have any friends.
He was pretty much a loner, except for his wife. He had a lot of people who respected him and he had a lot of aquaintances, but no real close friends.

And even people who are very successful or even famous don't really have close friends that truely understand them. And it doesn't always mean your unlikeable or unworthy, it often just means that we are all so unique and somewhat self absorbed trying to find that dam manual that you are never going to get someone who is going to be totally dedicated to just you. It is just human nature to search individually to some extent.

So now you have to learn to let go a bit, and hey, I have to work at it too, we all do. All you have to do is spend time and read the different forums. There is an endless supply of questions and even self blaming and a sense of lonliness in them.
The one thing about PC is that you have an opportunity to find out your not so alone in your feelings and even fears and struggles.

Make sure you find a good therapist and work on learning how to not self negetive talk. It isn't always easy. You are only going to be allowed to live life for just so long so you might as well do your best to find ways to try to enjoy life and learn while you are here. And most of the people you meet in life are only what they know how to be. And no one knows how to be perfect.

Open Eyes