Quote:
Originally Posted by NuckingFutz
Having a hard time not voicing my reality. For someone who has a time with what is real and what is fake, what is important and what is not, I'm having a hard time. Well, I live in Vegas so that could be part of the problem.
I'm currently staying with my sister and immediately realized how superficial (haven't heard that word here in Vegas yet and been here six months) things are. It's not the best place for my personality which is more real and down to earth. I mean, let's get real... who ever came up with the idea that cell phone towers were suppose to look like palm trees in the middle of the desert is pretty nuts...even the idea of real palm trees in the middle of the desert seems crazy to me.
I also think it's really stupid to have thousands of colored flashing lights in the path of oncoming traffic. The only people who would not agree are insurance companies, light bulb manufacterers and casinos. I also don't appreciate huge video billboards of skinny women dressed in gold sequins struting there stuff while I'm trying to keep my eye on the guy who is right at my bumper.
Watching my sister, although I love her dearly, well, there has got to be some undiagnosed something going on there with her. Tonight she's cleaning the house before the maid comes tommorow. Yesterday she spent $75.00 at the hair salon and couldn't wait to tell me how much she disliked it as I drove her home.
I'm kind of scared about something medically. She has non-empileptic seisures and just got approved for disability. She has an agreement with her nurologist that she will not drive until she is seisure free for 3 months. I think this is a relatively short period of time...especially now that I am driving. Would you like to be driving your family knowing that there is a woman out there that has a seisure disorder (no known cause, no known cure) that may be driving in about 6 weeks)?
I was using my sister's computer before...I've heard of mania spending sprees but what I saw her buying on there...man oh man... were talking $49 for an once of liquid make-up then *****ing about the price of gas.
I have a hard time when we go out because she tells me about 10 minutes before and then 2 minutes later, tells me it's time to go and I'm always running late.
I guess the bottom line is that even though I am hypomanic, I see crazier stuff going on all around me. Sometimes I feel angry because I feel like it's not okay to express this as it will not bring about change. I feel like I'm holding in all this crazy stuff. Even when I journal it out, it doesn't quite give me a good end result.
I just hate it when people and establishments try and be all fancy. I mean there is simple and elegant and then there is downright garishness.
Anyone else wanna share their gripes about this or a similiar issue?
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I definitely would not feel safe knowing there was a driver out there who can have a seizure.
As far as Vegas is concerned, I cannot comment because I have never been there, but I do know how superficial some people can be because I grew up in a rich town in CT. I never got a superior attitude, but my mom did have one. Whenever my friends and I would go to parties in a different town, they always remarked, "Oh here comes the "Cheshire Girls". When I worked and people asked me where I was from and I told them, they would say, "Oh it would be nice to have a tennis court and a swimming pool."
I hated how we were viewed because I never developed a superior attitude like everyone else in that town have. I think the suffering I have gone through made me a better person with a good heart and do not have an "attidude". I am my own person and I like the way I am and not superior to anyone. In fact, I feel most of the time that I am inferior to most others.
All I can do is be the best person I can.