My last two posts have been short because I've been on my phone. I should get a chance to get back on my computer...sometime soon hopefully

A few thoughts that stood out to me:
Yes I think it's normal to want time alone in a relationship but it also seems normal to travel together. Having a young son makes that more difficult/expensive but I would hope that he becomes more open to the idea

I'm going to be the odd ball out here and I am biased on this but I don't think a poor/struggling relationship leads to cheating. It seems like the lesson were supposed to learn years ago, an eye for an eye leaves us all blind. I don't think it justifies it but it could be something that you used to justify it. (Are you dizzy yet ). Putting it into a different perspective "I've worked for 20 years and just lost my job. I'm broke. I can't get a new job. I decide to rob a bank and tell myself I need to do it to provide for my family". Obviously, robbing the bank wasn't the right choice and wasn't the only way to provide for my family, but I justified it in my head.
So back to cheating. If you say this situation and tell your bf that problems in the relationship helped justify the cheating (in your head), he hears it as blame. YES, he could have done better, he could have listened and communicated and on and on. But we don't always see/hear each other clearly in a relationship. We don't see priorities or problems at the same intensity level. While you might feel like you made your concerns clear he, for whatever reason didn't react the way you need to. He's sitting there while you "blame" (in his interpretation) him saying "well if we had this many problems, she should have said "bf, when you ___, I feel ___, I need ___ if this continues I may need to reevalute the relationship". And the crazy part is, neither of you are to blame for this part. He was looking for sos flags, while you were broadcasting on the radio. It just is what it is. Something that together, you can work on.

So a summary of all that mumbo-jumbo, keep the issues as separate as possible. If your talking about the who/what/where/when/why/hows of the cheating leave it at that. When you are talking about relationship issues, leave it at that. When one of you crosses that line say "I'm sorry for (my part in ___) but I really feel like we need to focus on ___ right now. Can we discuss that point at another time?"