Thanks gma45 and Rose76. The email did cause a stir because he likes to look good in my brothers eyes. He came home yesterday because he wanted to talk about the email. I haven't gone into details with my brother yet and I also don't want to upset him too much with the details. I know my husband won't improve just because my brother knows, but now he doesn't have complete secrecy. He wanted to talk without getting angry and I reluctantly agreed - all that happened was we went around in circles like rats on a wheel, talking about the past.

He thinks its fine to blame me, for him feeling the need to have another wife. I wasn't taking care of his precious needs enough. He said we could talk about a solution but we never came to one. At this point I feel exasperated but I will just go back to functioning like before with my kids. Sometimes I feel like it will come down to who will live the longest - that's sad. Strangely this drives me to take care of myself so I can live longer.

Deep inside he has a fragile part - I saw it when we were on the verge of financial disaster. I showed him compassion during that time. I know its a weird and frustrating situation.