Hi Miss Laura
Thanks for asking. I am feeling kind of numb today. I've tried to write stuff down and this helps me get some of the frustration out but i feel so alone with tryin to cope. I dont like to ask people for help and support and i think thats why i find posting here so helpful.
I'm trying to talk in therapy and i have a session again tomorrow so will try and open up a bit more. My t and i both agree that my all or nothing approach to life means that i will probably just stop at some point but at the moment i cant see a way out or a desire to stop. It gives me relief at my lowest point and stops me from killing myself so in a strange way its actually a positive thing in some respects right now. But knowing that doesnt stop the shame and guilt of it all.