thanks for all the comments both here and in the psychotherapy forum. unfortunately no one has actually understood what i was trying to ask (rather unclearly).

my problem is that there are two parts with very strong and totally opposite goals. for a multitude of reasons we are working towards one set of these goals. have tried explaining many times to the other part why that is and why it is good for us. but it apparently results in that part feeling unimportant and neglected and invisible and like it doesnt count. i am wanting to know how other people deal with situations like this where by necessity one part has to lose out continuously.