Tsol, I don't think you're being an odd ball by saying that poor/struggling relationship doesn't lead to cheating. There is no justification for cheating. I hope you didn't interpret what i said as trying to give her a way out of what she did. I do believe, though, that a strong relationship, with strong communication, and where both parties are actively engaged in being proactive about the relationship, has a MUCH small chance of cheating than one that struggles with communication, problem resolution, and fair fighting. I just feel that her boyfriend feels like he was the perfect mate to her prior to what happened, and is refusing to see any negative role he may have played in their relationship (though it sounds like that's starting to change a little?). I agree with you that they need to try to keep things separate, work on one issue at a time. I guess I feel like it shouldn't be about blaming. It should be about accepting what happened in the past (all of it), and then working to make the relationship stronger. But I think he's going to have to be open to sharing the responsibility for problems in the past and to stop trying to one up her. Put them both on an even playing field to start moving forward together.

Tsol, I don't think we're really disagreeing. I hope you I didn't offend you?