This stuck out to me.... because of one reason... I will bet that there is another person in the mix that has a mental health problem. Being afraid of someone finding out may not be a strong enough reason to stop, but not to do it in a crowd of people.

Feeling anxiety towards being in a big group for a wedding, does happen to many people out there. With your statement (and others) it's an all-or-nothing thinking, and as many of us know, it's not always correct.

Advice... one phrase Exercise, bring your thoughts to your body, breath, feel, relax. Being anxious I find, adds to the urges. Control the anxiety, control the urges. Be outside if you can, soak up some sun. Relax, watch a movie. Do something for you!!! Be on PC, do anything that will help. You can get through this. Many of us have been where you are right now.

Good luck and stay safe.