Open Eyes

Yes!!! Everytime I see T1 I go into a downward spiral. Hmmm....probably should stop seeing her, but she's really good, shes able to identify the "why". But I cant handle the why. Shes trying to get me to use my "intellectual ability" to get through this.
I actually asked her about EMDR and she said that it would not work for me because my trauma is not one or even two events. Its YEARS and layers upon layers. She said EMDR only works for specific events, memories, however you want to classify it.
As a point of clarification, BF is best friend not boyfriend.
My stress level is out of this world as I am in the legal profession. But yes, when I am able to focus on a project or case then I am ok. The problem is GETTTING the focus. Once its there I can concentrate for hours once I "get into it" its the "getting into" that is a struggle. Lately, all I want to do is sleep. And Ive been gaining weight bc Ive been drinking to numb my mind.
The meaning of Flashbacks. . . they are jsut a bunch of disconnected memories. Maybe I will keep a diary of each one and figure out how it relates to my present situation.
Please let me know if the EMDR works for you.

Open Eyes

It is not happening now, it is only usually brought up by stress and uncomfortable situations or even feelings of uncertainty or having to do something your not comfortable with. And when you recall the past through flashbacks, that is what they mean.

Next time it happens don't be afraid, I know it is hard but look at everything for messages, sounds, movements emotions. Then afterwards think about it and what it was saying, it is usually a big question that happens because it was an event that was something urgent or made you feel unsafe or confused or even panick. That is what your having difficulty putting into just a memory.

What do you mean by this?