Im not great on giving advice. Im still learning on accepting others advice...But i will sa in 2003, my oldest son, he will be 9 this year, because of my "self-medicated" actions, was taken from me. I deserved it. I shouldnt have been getting high. But i know what you mean. I felt normal. I felt "not differant". Not only that but i never felt accepted until i was smoking meth. WRONG CROWD TO BE ACCEPTED BY, but i felt accepted and at that time that was so good to feel meaning i was never accepted by family nor the"right crowd". My therepist has me on Adderall now. I will be honest, they moniter me very closely so that my addiction to speed doesnt spiral out of control, but thanks to the stimulant im on, i dont need illegal drugs to focus and concentrate. Im still working on alot to feel"normal" and i may never feel "normal" but im me and i have to learn TO ACCEPT MYSELF or no one will ever accept me either. I hope that helps. Like i said im not great at giving advice.