*update*
Made an appointment for a new T but i have to wait till sep 7th,made an appointment with a reg dr to possibly go back on meds but not till the 30th, and i gave away 4 13hr shifts...so..i have 7 shifts till the end of the month..i just need to make it through those 7 shifts but i have decided to make the commitment that if i feel as bad and suicidal as i was a couple days ago i will go straight to the hospital, if it means losing my job then so be it, it's better then losing my life...thanks for all your support guys and hopefully i can make it through 7 shifts.