Quote:
Originally Posted by IdoubtIT
I described on this board earlier my recent manic episode. I'm on 900 bid of ER lithium now and feeling better but still have smoldering sxs. I'm sleeping like 2-3 hours, maybe 4 on 200mg of trazodone and then wide awake, just me and the night. Still mildly hypersexual, but nothing to get myself into trouble. I'm out of the manic episode enough though to be experiencing intense guilt and regret over my behavior. I could have hurt myself or countless others, screaming down the freeway at 120mph. I could have destroyed everything I love, and everything that loves me, through the manifestations of my hypersexuality. Off to the doctor to shamefully ask for STI screening.
Do you give yourself a break over what you do while manic, or do you hold yourself fully accountable? Someone mentioned they have a method to keep themselves from doing bad things while manic and I am just not sure its mania if you can hold it back. Thoughts?
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That is a very difficult question for me. I have done things while manic that I will/cannot ever forgive myself for. I know I couldn't really help those things, but I am riddled with guilt over them because I did hurt others while in this state.
However, if I am 100% manic and do not and cannot see it while it is staring me in the face, I do not feel guilty for doing the things I did while getting delusional because of the mania. I usually do not even know what I am doing in this state, or even remember what I did until others tell me.
My 1st paragraph was about being hypo. The 2nd one was being over-the-top manic.