Like watching a slow motion train wreck, as my logical mind predicted, I've become slightly 'addicted' to vomiting just for the sake of it. I'm being very honest with both my therapist and doctor but neither seem to have any advice on how to stop myself. When I'm self berating I believe I should be stronger and stop myself and not rely on other people because obviously somewhere along the line I am 'choosing' to do this, ...but it is really difficult when I feel that overwhelming need to 'get it out'....especially as my main goal is not to cut myself and therefore vomiting seems like a very 'non-harming' way of hurting myself. It's warped thinking, but identifying that doesn't seem to help. I feel as though I'm in a bit of a dead end at the moment...I can't cut myself because of many many reasons I won't go into on this post, but I've just changed tactics. I'm working hard in therapy....I don't know maybe I'm just extremely weak.....I'm not worried about the vomiting exactly (at least not enough to stop) but I hate being stuck in this never-ending cycle. I feel I'm fighting myself and a lot of myself wants me to lose.