Brianna,
I have just read through this discussion and the more I read, the harder it is to understand why you want so badly to make this relationship work--or why you think you want this relationship to work.

If he is leaving for months at a time and you really want a partner who will be around and available--and not out of the area for months at a time, it seems like you have found your deal-breaker. He isn't going to change and I don't see how he can be a great father figure to your child if he's gone for months at a time. It's not wrong for you to want someone who will be available for you when you need them--and he's being really selfish trying to convince you that it's purely your issue.

You have accepted that you have some problems and you are willing to work on them through medication and therapy. You also seem more than willing to take all the responsibility for your relationship. That doesn't work. It ALWAYS takes two people to make a relationship work. As long as he's set on blaming you instead of working on the relationship it can't really get better. You can't fix it alone.

Yes, you screwed up. Yes, you are responsible for that decision. But NO you aren't responsible for the whole relationship. You seem about as messed up as the rest of the world (But my house is full of people with ADHD and/or bipolar disorder and I'm the designated sane person and I'm not sure I qualify, so maybe I'm biased.) and it's no surprise that he seems to be about equally messed up. Neither of you had perfect parents (who did?) Neither of you has a perfect life. That's the way it is in the real world--perfect is a concept, not a reality. It's ok not to be perfect, what's not ok is to pretend to be perfect and start pointing fingers at others' imperfections. Especially when those "others" are inclined to accept that judgment.

I liked the book "too good to leave, too bad to stay" because it does help you sort through things in a neat organized way that ultimately leads to some sort of conclusion. Go through it chapter by chapter until you are comfortable with a decision.

BTW, the points you listed as reasons this guy is a keeper are pretty much true of most reasonably decent guys. You really should find someone who makes you feel like a princess, who cares about how you feel and doesn't belittle you. (Read the stuff about abuse in the book, I think you'll see something interesting.)

Bonnie