Thank-you WB - yes it is "her" that I think I am going to have to start to face - I do find her shameful. I do alot of writing to T, but this seems too shameful to actually put on paper - but somehow I managed to be brave enough to write it here didn't I? This makes your response even more important to me in my journey, I have never told anyone before.

So thank-you so much for your understanding and your encouraging words, maybe I can get to a place to tell T (who is also awesome ).

Hugs to you too - SD